GOT TO LEARN SOME HOW!

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……….. WAIT WHILE I LOOK AROUND TO SEE IF THEY CAN HEAR ME! 

Phew!  They’re not here and I feel sure they can’t hear me – I think/hope.

My opponents are stealthy and I don’t want them to know that I know what I know about them. 

The story I’m about to tell you is the absolute truth and really happen.  I’ve found that when I attempt to share the truth according to Toi – my audience, error-ing-ly so, discounts the credit that I give my little lovelies. 

See for yourself how cute the little lovelies are and you will quickly come to understand why so many would choose to underestimate their total package abilities.  BUT… I caution you to hear/understand and accept what I’m about to share with you as the gospel it really is.

Every now and again, we get a brave relative that stays with us.  It’s the highlight of our boring humdrum daily routines.  We especially love it when Aunt Tee comes to town.  The little peeps enjoy the mutt (oh sorry I meant dog) and I enjoy having her for company.  The kids enjoy being able to ask a new victim lots and lots of questions. 

Aunt Tee has in her mind certain things about children and how to engage them.  I tried to bring her up-to-date with the little lovelies developmental progress and quirks.  My son and I encouraged her to keep her personal items safe from community annexing but she blew our information off. 

As one of my baby cousins remarked about my son over a football game many years ago, “the boy got to learn somehow…”

“SHE GOT TO LEARN SOMEHOW!”

Well, her orientation began early in the morning as she had arrived after the children were asleep and they were just discovering her presence.  I was on my way to the kitchen to prepare morning coffee when I noticed (after turning on the light in the living room) the three lovelies standing in birth order, in the dark, watching her sleep.

I told her to wake up and keep a watch out over herself.  I had things to do and couldn’t stand guard over her.  They broke her down to sheer defensiveness in less than 10 minutes with their questions. 

Aunt Tee travels with lots of costume jewelry.  She believes children are children and should be allowed to explore things.  So, she was only too happy to allow the girls to play with her jewels.  Even my grand little lovely got in on this act! 

Oh they were dolled up so nicely.  Aunt Tee even jeweled up to play along.  The visit was going smashingly.  Well, there was one little set back but I allowed Aunt Tee and the oldest little lovely to work it out amongst them (it involved the  “missing” cell phone of Aunt Tee).

Two days after our visit was over, I received a call that went like this…..

Toi:  “Hello.”

Aunt Tee:  “bag my shit up and send it back to me.”

 

SHE GOT TO LEARN SOME HOW!

We had another brave visitor.  The children weren’t really at home when Cousin Big-E (that’s what he calls himself) visited the second time with his wife but they got to spend a great amount of time with him on his third visit.  Oh, and he got to know the little lovelies much better too – smile! 

Let me see, oh yeah, his first glimpse of what we working with was when he drove about 30 blocks across town looking for his shaving kit.  60 blocks round trip and $1 later it was located under the bed.

His next encounter also cost him $1.  He offered the money as a reward to the one that could locate his vehicle keys.    The keys were suspiciously hidden behind a door. 

 HE GOT TO LEARN SOME HOW!

 Cousin Big-E called himself building rapport with the little lovelies.  He spent time talking to them and answering the million questions they’re capable of generating.  Smile.

I took the children to their activity for the day and headed off to work.  I did hear the 5 year old say that he didn’t get any money because he had not “found” anything for cousin Big-E.  I assure you I didn’t hear the dickens say anything like “yet.” 

Later in the day, I received a grievous sounding call from cousin Big-E.  “Toi, they got those keys again, I know it!”  I didn’t know what to say.

Everyone beat me to the house that evening.  When I arrived, the 5 year old little lovely had his dollar flapping around in his little hand.  Cousin Big-E told me later that he found his keys, in the 5 year olds shoe behind the door. Cousin Big-E paid off the 5 year old to keep him from working to get paid and learned to put his things away for safe keeping. 

When Auntie K came to town, she was clearly aware of the reputation of the little lovelies.  Com’on, they’re extoristnists!  So, I watched as she zipped her bag up before ever asking for a kiss and a hug. 

“SOMEBODY LEARNED!”