The
truth is we all come from different walks of life and are doing (hopefully) the
absolute best we can with what we have to work with. You know that in our families of origin some
legacies have been born that should NEVER
be passed along but tragically are. What
am I referring to?
I’m
talking about the drug and alcohol abuse legacies that plague so many. I’m talking about physical abuse and neglect
that hinders so many. I’m talking about sexual
abuse that has literally destroyed so many females and males. I’m talking about that messy seed of anger
that can over shadow a person in such a way they never get off the ground and
about domestic violence. And, what about
the physical illness legacies that can’t be stopped genetically but could have
been curbed with good healthy life choices?
I could (and probably should) mention mental wellness that can be lost via
the afore mentioned legacies being fed into our future generations and also
whether or not a connection to and with God was fostered and nurtured (but I
feel these two topics are stand alone blogs so I will get back with you on
these)!
Now,
I can remember during the years of growing with and raising my sweet baby girl
and the days and nights of wondering just what I was teaching her and her
brother about different aspects of life (deliberately and well just by the very
way I lived in front of them). Sometimes I felt very confident (do good and
not evil) and other times not very confident at all (how much freedom is too
much & nakedness and human sexuality; now to this day friends and family
alike want to know if I’m appropriately dressed before entering MY room – but I digress).
I
shared with my little one (yep, the grown little one with her own family and
life) the fact that I could understand her frustration and awe on a very
personal level as I once told the Lord that my home would be a sanctuary for
those He sent that needed it. Now, I
thought that meant a couple of days for grown folks. I had no idea it would come in the form of a
20 year project of three little folks when I was well past my child rearing
mental wellness phase of life! (SEE - YOU JUST GOT
TO BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TELL THE LORD YOU WILL DO – CAUSE HE JUST MAY ASK IT OF
YOU!)
As I continued pondering my kiddo’s
circumstances, fully understanding their (mine/our) need to protect and nurture
children I was reminded of a certain part of “The Dash” poem by Linda Ellis (http://forum.beemaster.com/index.php?action=printpage;topic=15449.0). The part my mind focused in on is when the
author asks ‘would you be proud of the things they say about how you spend your
dash?’ As I thought this lovely
poem and all the different things I’ve heard about it, my line of thinking took
yet another turn from how I spend my dash to to what legacy am I building
for “my children” (please note I have lots of
children some birthed to me, some chosen by me and some that have chosen me and
some grandbabies too - so I’m not leaving any of you out – okay) in
my dash?
After
I began this writing, a friend moved over to glory. I don’t know if you knew her but Laverne
Grant-Smith is/was (for she remains alive to me in my memories) a lovely,
beautiful person and a blessing. I
attended her home going, and had confirmed for me that her legacy is one of
love and encouragement. This very
courageous woman stood witness to the internal, deep and agonizing pain of
others. At my behest, she stood in a
place I could not enter with one of my friends while my friend went t-h-r-o-u-g-h and had a very life
altering impact in my friend’s life.
And, as I often feel when someone of influence (and power) moves to glory,
I do believe the world is a little less safe without Laverne Grant-Smith. However, the legacy she grew and built will
continue to shine bright generation after generation.
It
is my understanding that after two generations one is forgotten. So I had more to consider regarding my own legacy. And you can imagine my surprise when I came
to the understanding that the legacy that was bequeathed to me from my mother
and the legacy that was bequeathed to her from her mother and from her mother’s
mother is one of caring for others.
Yes,
we tell the little ones about my grandmother but they don’t really “know”
her. I think I will reshape how I
explain her to them. I think I will go
with her joyous laughter, her special gift of making everyone feel and believe they
were the most special one to her (but ya’ll know I am her favorite) and her
care of and kindness towards others.
I
can honestly say that had it not been from her influence in my life as a child,
I wouldn’t be a social worker. We went on
“missions” all the time and I thought everyone lived like we did. She taught me from an early age to see what
was needed in the way she treated others and how she treated me. Later in life, I would watch my mother and
grandmother undertake “missions” and just never knew another way to view and/or
be in the world. My mother (my muse)
often tells me that I am a born social worker (not the bleeding heart version
in television shows but the advocacy) but I believe it’s the environment they
raised me in that crafted this passion within me.
Okay,
I’m sure the memory my folks will pass on to the generations beyond me is my
ability to wage war (com’on I can be honest about myself – let me think there’s
an injustice and see if I’m not on the case), my desire to find the strength or
solution in every challenge, and my undying allegiance towards the elderly and
children (I do realize my hell raising abilities may also be mentioned but yet
again, I digress). I already see caring
and watching out for those that are most vulnerable growing and being executed
within my circle - which amazes and humbles me.
I
don’t know ya’ll… in a world that makes very little sense… that can be mean,
unfeeling and unkind…that can be uncaring, self-centered and greedy…I’m not
sure caring for others isn’t just the right magnificent gift to leave as my
legacy.
