Peonies & a Casserole

Today - I feel a keening in my soul.  I have not cried but my body feels racked with deep sobs and wailing.  It took a few phone calls and some time to realize she was speaking in English and her words were true.   

Yes, I know we all die.  I just never considered that the kiddo locked in my heart’s memories might move to glory before me.

I was not able to stay close to her but I knew her when she wore diapers.  I use to comb her hair and get tickled when she would say, “hey, take it easy up there.”  She didn’t take no mess from anybody!  I remember the magic shows she would put on for all of us.  We use to vote for Nadeana’s Casserole (or was that just me) - do ya’ll remember? 

I, well… I remember lots of things about her and her siblings; my baby cousins.  The girls all grew to be babes and the fellas are all muffins.  It is difficult for my mind to hear that she is gone.

You know, over the years, I’ve witnessed “the struggle” in the lives of my peers.  Although the older generations (and now I must also consider that perhaps even the younger generations) in our lives hope to move to glory before we do; I think we secretly hope to move to glory before they do because we don’t know life without them. 

I believe that it is in that secret world of hope and despair – things change; we mature; the wholeness of our true character is revealed and we “grow up.”  One of the additional miraculous things about these transitions is that there is a blessing somewhere in there for all those that are “around” the circumstances. 

At this time, I’m reminded of a story I recently learned when I noticed one of my co-workers walking past with a lovely vase of pink peonies.  I figured she was going to add more water to the vase.  The flowers were very pretty and I must admit that I felt a little envious of the beauty she’d thought enough of to stop and enjoy.

In the last few years, I met a dearly beloved, older couple via this co-worker and their daughter.  Oddly, she’s never spoken much of her childhood but has always captured my attention with the stories of the love between her parents. 

Her father has experienced some decline in his health and she often went to see about her parents.  Her mother and father lived a few hours away in a retirement community.  Over time, her father’s health continued to decline and a decision had to be made regarding more intensive care. 

Naturally, having been married more than 66 years, the thought of the two not being together at all times, was anguish provoking – unbearable - for all involved (including me – the outside witness).  However, the best care options for her father had to be the priority. 

I watched my friend struggle through deciding when to press her mother to make the decisions and other times fretting over the potential of having to make the decisions on their behalf.  What a position to be in!   

Her mother finally determined that her beloved husband required more care than he was getting.  Although she never had to see her sweet love moved away from her, I believe this decision simply broke her heart.  She moved to glory within the week. 

The two still had much love between them.  Sure, memories had begun to fade along with some physical abilities …. but still heavy on tap was love.  In fact, some days “I love you” were the only words that passed between the two the entire day.

I know some others that are struggling through the same kind of experience my friend and her family is working through.  I admire the character and love it takes to do right by those relatives.  My heart so grieves with them.

Previously, I mentioned the blessings that all in close proximity can experience.  The day I’d seen my friend with the flowers, she explained her grandparents once owned a peony farm.  Her grandfather made hybrids from some of his favorite blooms and named them after his wife and children.  My friend and her siblings all have bulbs in their yards. 

Apparently, hybrids bloom early and on a day when she was missing her mother, the flowers opened.  So, you can imagine my joy upon entering my office and finding said fantastic flowers on my desk! She chose to share with me the Lois blossoms (my blessing). 

I sure hope, should I have to make such decisions for my parents, I will have the same grace and poise as my friend.  I don’t have a field of peonies to remember my baby cousin by but I will treat the sweet memories of the kiddo my heart loves as the first beautiful blooms of every season.

This was created for Nadeana as her entry into the Headstart cookbook that year.  I never thought it odd that she should have a dish named after her.  It was a Na thing. 

The flower business is still in my friend's family.  The flowers were wonderful and all of my office mates got joy from her gift.  We also got the story so it was a great couple of days all the way around!