MY WELTSCHMERTZ AND THE SOLIDER

Sometimes we simply fail to speak one another’s language.  When this happens we encounter a failure to communicate.  This can create disconnect and a level of frustration with self and the other. 

I recently attended an event at work.  I will tell you the truth, it was with mixed feelings that I made my personal plans to attend.  However, one of my true loves is the theatre and the closer the event got the more excited I became. 

I was excited to be back in the beloved theater and I was also excited to see the performer.  I was excited to see him because of the TV shows he’d played characters in.  Thinking about those shows brought back very happy and fond memories of my Grandmother and time I’d shared with her and my Grandfather. 

I really didn’t know what the one man show was going to be about but as it unfolded, I was deeply touched by the message.  I looked around at those that attended and it appeared that they too appreciated the message.  But a portion of my heart was saddened. 

Generally, I believe those that show up are the ones that the message was meant for.  However, I couldn’t help but think that we’d somehow managed to not get the news out to some of those that desperately needed it. 

I don’t often speak about my job. I do a lot of belly aching over the minor irritations we all experience on the job.  My office is too cold; my office is too hot; some body’s coffee is burning; how many times does the same piece of information have to be shared before everyone understands; one more email and I’m going wacky in this place; who gave out my phone number; is it Friday yet… blah, blah, blah. 

And I must admit that the tension level in the work place has increased between the needs of our clients, the demands of Command, clashes with co-workers, and the realities of the budget.  In the last few weeks, I’ve been downright cranky!  But I don’t often speak about my job in terms of those my co-workers and I serve.

We serve Soldiers and their Families.  Some of them are very young and already have the great responsibility of Duty and parenthood.  Some are very far away from their Families and have not made meaningful, helpful connections in the area.  Some don’t have Family to reach back to and are struggling to find their feet in the place and time they currently find themselves. 

Some of them came to the Army with many pounds of weighty emotional & psychological baggage that has been further impacted by the demands of their jobs.  Some have had their limits tested by the job and find themselves far from being who they once were – and not in a healthy way. 

Some trusted that they’d found the truest love of their life but the everyday demands have dimmed the love and they can’t find their ways back to each other.  Some find old addictions raging full force and some develop new addictions – places and things they never thought would be a part of their lives – all in an effort to make sense of their present reality.  They find themselves turning into the very people they never thought they would be; the enemy of themselves, their spouses, their children – their Family. 

Some of these families have children and spouses with extreme special needs and the Army affords them the ability to get their beloveds top of the line medical care…but it’s still hard to juggle everything they face.  Finances are often very tight.  Despite the misconception that Soldiers are rolling dough – they really don’t get paid much for all they’re asked to do. 

I don’t know about you – I know someone has to serve – I’m grateful it isn’t me.  Until I worked for the Uncle – I just didn’t understand how much we ask of Soldiers – young people and for the most part – they carry it well. 

I also don’t often speak of the dedication my co-workers have.  I’m talking about some folks that work all the work and keep on ticking.  There are times when as a whole team we feel discouraged and unable to continue but some Soldier or Family will approach with a need and we get the job done. 

My co-workers are very conscientious.  We spend a great deal of time assessing the ethics of things.  We’ve tapped one another and anyone else we thought might hold the key to the solution the Family before us has a need of receiving.  We’ve been known to use our own resources too. 

Sometimes to cope – we develop elaborate plans to change the world.  Sometimes these themes are incorporated into our internal language and keep us chuckling for a while.  Other times, we just cry. 

I don’t want to get too deep into it but I do want you to know this is the first job I’ve ever had where the Man of God is a major part of the team.  They are a major pillar in Army Community.  The Chaplaincy has much integrity and I really like the Chaplains I’ve had the opportunity to work with. 

So, you may be wondering how we do the “job.”    Our goal is to assist these Soldiers and their Families in such a way that we prevent child abuse/neglect and spouse abuse; but should an incident happen (before or after we meet) then we work to help them to heal and to not re-experience such an incident again.
 
“Wow,” I can hear you saying.  “Now, just how do you do that?”  And that my friend is the crux of this piece.

We have lots of plans, lots of classes, lots of good advice and fantastic support to offer.  However, all services are rendered to those that voluntarily opt to participate.  We can’t seem to come up with a snappy (and appropriate – you know we have some ideas - smile) phrase to see the idea of don’t beat/neglect your children and don’t beat your spouse. 

Somehow, we’ve managed to miss the language of our Soldiers and Families.  I also fear our focus is on the less important matters which also keep us further away from speaking the “right” language.    

This makes me anxious.  As a country, we failed to connect in a meaningful way with a significant number of Soldiers that served in Vietnam.  I’d hate to be among those that fail to do the same with this new generation of war fighters. 

The failure to do so all those many years ago is still reverberating through our society.  Many individuals and Families were and have been forever changed. 

And suddenly, it occurs to me that maybe the real problem is that we’re speaking.  Maybe the real solution is in the connection and our willingness to stand with Soldiers and their Families as they move through these places in their lives.

My co-workers and I have an opportunity to make a connection – I don’t want to fail.  I pray we don’t fail this time; but periodically, I feel weltschmerz even though I know God is in control and so very Able.    

Weltschmerz ?: 

• A mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state
• Sadness or melancholy at the evils of the world; world-weariness
• Literally; world pain

The Event: 
The production was called, Above The Call Beyond The Duty by James McEachin.  You can visit http://abovethecallbeyondtheduty.com/ for more information.