Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Concept of Poverty; Another Parenting Moment!

I recently became distressed in thinking that perhaps I’m failing my niece.  My mother and I were engaged in a deep conversation about one thing or another and I mentioned being broke - you know just poor.  Now what you need to know about this niece of mine is that if there is a conversation going on and she’s around – she honestly (and innocently) believes she’s a part of the conversation.  (I mean really like she’s an equal partner in what’s happening – drives me crazy!)
 
The niece butts into the conversation and asks, “What is poor.”  I was simply floored!  I turned to my mother and asked, “Have I failed this child?”  I took the time to explain to her the definition of poor in the context in which I used it and immediately felt like I’d missed an opening to discuss something much deeper and meaningful.  But I wasn’t able to recapture the moment because – well the chick is 8 years old and things just kept rolling on in her world. 
 
I approached my hour of rest with a heavy heart.  On one side of this bitter pill, I recognized that it was a lovely thing that this 8 year old child didn’t have a “depravation” understanding of poverty but on the other side of it - had I offered her enough information and opportunities to fail to understand the blessings in her life that keep her from feeling “poor?” 

Yes, we talk about the value of money, the price of items, the need to take good care of things because they cost money and money is not to be wasted.  Yes, we talk about treating others the way we like to be treated (this is a hard lesson to “get” at this age) and being a good person (to avoid depravation of character and spirit).    

Anywho, as sleep enveloped me, I decided that on some level; I’ve been giving my very life energy to make sure this child (my nemesis love niece) didn’t have to feel the cold loss that poverty can inspire – “I don’t want her to know that!”  Truth be told, I don’t want anyone to know that! 

I slumbered with all of that on my mind and when the morning arrived, I determined true wisdom was in numbers and purposed to ask my family, friends and peers their thoughts on the matter.  “When you were 7 or 8 years old, did you think you were poor?” 

I know I can hear you all saying, “WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH HER?”  But honestly, I didn’t think about any ole festering sores one might have when I took it upon myself to get to the bottom of the concept of poverty. 

See, I can remember when the bad news was broken to me.  I was riding with my mother around this age and was telling her how bad I felt for poor folks when she felt it NECESSARY to let me know that I was one of the poor folks.  I can still remember howling with indignation that “I’m not poor, I have toys!” 

Honestly, that wailing little kid continues to reside in me when I think of those that live in poverty, neglect, abuse and abject contempt by our society!  I mean who really bucks against children eating or sick folks having medication or struggling families having decent housing?  Okay, I won’t even go there right now. 

But, being who I am – I forged ahead and subjected my poor family/friends/& co-workers to the burning question.  I deeply apologize for any discomfort this may have caused but also feel very grateful to those that pushed through to share with me anyway. 

A number of folks had no clue one way or the other because if they were without anything they didn’t know it at the time.  I heard plenty state that they had what others had so they didn’t feel deprived or poor.  Others indicated knowing they were poor and some of the embarrassing clothing choices they endured as their families attempted to provide weather appropriate sturdy items.

So, after gathering my data what conclusion have I arrived at?  Well, before I tell you that let me share this one pearl with you:  in my life – right now – whenever my energy gets low and my resources tight – God provides what the kiddos need?  How do I know it’s God?  Who else could help a people endure making bricks without straw? 

Because the kid (my niece) doesn’t know poor – I have not failed her.  I’m giving her what I had – security.  She feels secure AND has plenty of time to develop her own definition of poverty.  When it is her time to determine how to best handle her perception of poverty – she’ll have the example we’re working to provide to use as a template on her own journey. 

What do you think?