Yes, I know we all die. I just never considered that the kiddo locked
in my heart’s memories might move to glory before me.
I was not able to stay close to her but
I knew her when she wore diapers. I use
to comb her hair and get tickled when she would say, “hey, take it easy up
there.” She didn’t take no mess from
anybody! I remember the magic shows she
would put on for all of us. We use to
vote for Nadeana’s Casserole (or was that just me) - do ya’ll remember?
I, well… I remember lots of things about
her and her siblings; my baby cousins. The
girls all grew to be babes and the fellas are all muffins. It is difficult for my mind to hear that she
is gone.
You know, over the
years, I’ve witnessed “the struggle” in the lives of my peers. Although the older generations (and now I
must also consider that perhaps even the younger generations) in our lives hope
to move to glory before we do; I think we secretly hope to move to glory before
they do because we don’t know life without them.
I believe that
it is in that secret world of hope and despair – things change; we mature; the
wholeness of our true character is revealed and we “grow up.” One of the additional miraculous things about
these transitions is that there is a blessing somewhere in there for all those
that are “around” the circumstances.
At this time, I’m reminded of a story I
recently learned when I noticed one of my co-workers walking past with a lovely vase of pink
peonies. I figured she was going to add
more water to the vase. The flowers were
very pretty and I must admit that I felt a little envious of the beauty she’d
thought enough of to stop and enjoy.
In the last
few years, I met a dearly beloved, older couple via this co-worker and their
daughter. Oddly, she’s never spoken much
of her childhood but has always captured my attention with the stories of the
love between her parents.
Her father has
experienced some decline in his health and she often went to see about her
parents. Her mother and father lived a
few hours away in a retirement community.
Over time, her father’s health continued to decline and a decision had
to be made regarding more intensive care.
Naturally, having been married more than 66 years, the thought of the two not being together at all times, was anguish provoking – unbearable - for all involved (including me – the outside witness). However, the best care options for her father had to be the priority.
I watched my
friend struggle through deciding when to press her mother to make the decisions
and other times fretting over the potential of having to make the decisions on
their behalf. What a position to be
in!
Her mother
finally determined that her beloved husband required more care than he was
getting. Although she never had to see
her sweet love moved away from her, I believe this decision simply broke her
heart. She moved to glory within the
week.
The two still had much love between them. Sure, memories had begun to fade along with some physical abilities …. but still heavy on tap was love. In fact, some days “I love you” were the only words that passed between the two the entire day.
I know some
others that are struggling through the same kind of experience my friend and
her family is working through. I admire
the character and love it takes to do right by those relatives. My heart so grieves with them.
Previously, I
mentioned the blessings that all in close proximity can experience. The day I’d seen my friend with the flowers,
she explained her grandparents once owned a peony farm. Her grandfather made hybrids from some of his
favorite blooms and named them after his wife and children. My friend and her siblings all have bulbs in
their yards.
Apparently,
hybrids bloom early and on a day when she was missing her mother, the flowers
opened. So, you can imagine my joy upon
entering my office and finding said fantastic flowers on my desk! She chose to
share with me the Lois blossoms (my blessing).
I sure hope, should I have to make such decisions for my parents, I will have the same grace and poise as my friend. I don’t have a field of peonies to remember my baby cousin by but I will treat the sweet memories of the kiddo my heart loves as the first beautiful blooms of every season.
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| This was created for Nadeana as her entry into the Headstart cookbook that year. I never thought it odd that she should have a dish named after her. It was a Na thing. |
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| The flower business is still in my friend's family. The flowers were wonderful and all of my office mates got joy from her gift. We also got the story so it was a great couple of days all the way around! |
